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As a result, the fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments, cut off loved ones, and make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships. These overly intense or erratic behaviors, in turn, often push loved one's away.
Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.
An essential part of loving someone with borderline personality disorder is realizing that you cannot fix them. You can have a close, loving, meaningful relationship with them and provide invaluable support, but you cannot heal their illness.
In essence, people with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. Another BPD symptom that particularly impacts relationships is called abandonment sensitivity.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition that affects the way a person processes everyday emotions and reactions. People with BPD are often impulsive and emotionally unstable. These episodes could also last several days and negatively affect the person's work, relationships, or physical health.
Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out. Avoid getting defensive in the face of accusations and criticisms, no matter how unfair you feel they are. Defending yourself will only make your loved one angrier. Walk away if you need to give yourself time and space to cool down.
People with borderline personality disorder aren't fully aware of their behavior and the effect on other people. Try to be as sympathetic as you can, but maintain appropriate boundaries to protect yourself.
Symptom: Trouble empathizing In other words, people with BPD struggle with both self-awareness and empathy. There's a lack of understanding about how your own behavior impacts people, so when your emotions are out of control, it doesn't register that this causes stress for others, he says.
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