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Welcome to the rest advocates with Dr Michael our Holstein and Tommy Batsman today were going to take a fresh rest approach to the concept of self-esteem lets have a listen so Michael today's topic is self-esteem from a rest perspective what is self-esteem ah just to define self-esteem lets start with two esteem to esteem means to think highly out and to self-esteem means to think highly of oneself have high self-esteem that means you think you're a good person you're a success you're worthwhile etc, so it's really evaluating your total self based on your behaviors if you do well, and you rate your performance and then over general generalize to yourself as a person then you get high self-esteem if you do poorly and then over generalize from your poor behavior to your total self then that gives you low self-esteem very good I take a similar approach I see self-esteem as dependent on your view of the facts, so a fact is you're considered not as aesthetically pleasing or not as smart as other folks that's maybe the fact that activating event that we cannot control then we have a belief about it now the self-esteem comes in were okay the fact is you're not a systemic Lee pleasing is it the worst thing ever do you fall into the first major most of I must do well and approve and when the approval of others or else oh I'm no good in this case I must look good to other people or else I'm not a worthwhile human being and when you have that irrational thought, and you have the activating event that other folks don't find you aesthetically pleasing or as smart or as whatever it is then the negative self-conception comes in, and you have poor self-esteem does that make sense to you yes it does and another creation of poor low self-esteem comes from demands must I must do well and get approval because I would like to and if I don't succeed as I must then I'm not good my entire personhood is worthless and then that creates low self-esteem, so the take-home message here is that it's our thinking what we tell ourselves that creates high or low self-esteem or any emotions never the situation itself never doing well or poorly or being approved of or disapproved of its always what we tell ourselves about that in relation to our total personhood I like to contrast this to what I was reading today in my office we have material for the people that come through and one of them was a kind of pamphlet on self-esteem, and they defined it as what you think about yourself and I found it a little misleading because it said here are examples of good self-esteem 1 I'm smart too I'm pretty, and I'm successful beauty of course is in the eye of the beholder and somebody else that who you can't control may not think that of you I agree that if you just think I am a smart person I am a pretty man or a woman I am a successful person then that would give you high self-esteem because you're evaluating your total self in terms of smartness prettiness or success now a non self-esteem...
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