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Welcome to how to teach your son to have sex yeah your son asks you how to have sex you give them a crazy look like the one you give us Mom right before you're about to finish having sex you tell your son that we're done have this conversation before about what really looks like and how they go into the vagina, but we can go deeper into it there's something ask what do I do once I'm inside you give him another crazy look like he's crazy because it ain't rocket science why even though when your mom counts down from 10 best believe I'm going to blast off can I get a witness you throw old reliable the teddy bear onto the bed and climb on top to show your son that once you're inside she's just like an elevator you go up, and you go down, and you repeat until you all of a sudden feel sleepy in need of the sandwich and find the girl you're with not as attractive as you did a few seconds ago I want to throw her out your bed ASAP but remember just like old reliable sometimes the girl would just lie there way you do all the work which is why we need that sandwich but hey they don't call you the little engine that could for nothing more like the little engine that could do all the work while your mom just lies there and stupid son than ask why does mom just lie there, so you smack him across the face and say that's why and because I told you to hand because you better not tell Mom you explain to your son that whoever's on top is usually the one who does all the work, but there are boatloads of different positions hey speaking of boatload now we're gonna talk about doggy style oh boy you're sexually uneducated Sun actually thinks you're talking about Snoop Dogg yes again boy, and you burst his for sizzle my nozzle bubble with the stuff do double G and say para not tell mom your silly son ass so what is doggy style give him a crazy look like you caught him with a girl doing it doggy style yeah, and you tell him you'll know it when you see it, but you're still showing pictures on the air net of people and dogs doing it doggy style who turns away, but you force them to look at him look at it look at it and say we're not tell mom you dragged your son to the nearest gas station, so he can buy his first pack a condom extra large for your man you know I'm talking about well your son thinks he's a comedian and says I thought they called you the little engine that could wash the slap mare that you slapped me across the face and say Baron I tell mom your son then asked why do we need condoms so you uh break it down and say that are you so like Christmas presents before you give it to someone you better wrap that thing up otherwise nine months later you're going to get a gift that you wish you could return there's no receipt for that one I'm pretty sure your girl has a strict no-return policy will show your son two sex scenes in the movie forgetting Sarah Marshall, so he can learn your new position he turns away, and you tell that boy to look at look back look at it...
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