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And he said well I think I said I'll tell you what you think tell me what you feel he couldn't, you couldn't say a word and, so I started through a list of feelings do you feel this do you feel this, and he could think a minute and say yes and say no and his wife all of a sudden stop crying she said you mean he has emotions, and he just didn't have the language for her actions welcome to the focus on the family broadcast helping families thrive hey David and Jan welcome to focus on the family looking forward to this in so many ways how can it help me today be better person, but I love this concept now first you've been married 60years so when you're talking to 20-something 30-something married couples do they just like drop their John say you really did that you married we've been married 31 years and they'logo Wow how did you do that but 60 years I'm in awe wonderful well it'interesting that the first 10 years of our life we've of our marriage we'renamed it the Great Tribulation, so we never read the tribulation books because we had already lived through the Great Tribulation we got married very young, and we didn't know much about relationships, and it was a tough timeout we stayed the course and I have couples come into married five years And they're in difficulty and I say well you got maybe five more years to go before you just kind of settle in and five years yeah I don't know that I mean divorce wasn't in our vocabulary, so it was like we never would never speak the word yeah that's good I mean foundational a lot of young couples today need to have that same because it takes on a life of its own if you start talking about it oh that's so very true let's discuss emotional intelligence some people may not have heard of that term, and you know not read literature about it what is emotional intelligence how does it differ from IQ and just what is it well Daniel Goleman introduced the termini 95 in a book called emotional intelligence, and he covered the whole spectrum he covered family relationships and other relationships in the business world but the business world and Harvard Business Review kind of just grabbed hold of it and ran with it, so it's only been applied primarily in the business world, and it's been probably the most important quality that a leader can havens to be strong on emotional intelligence in terms of their leadership, so it has its value been proven in the business world and that'different from what we want to talk about because where we're going and your application of those learnings really applies to marriage and to God's design and marriage right yeah I was reading I got involved in reading everything Could read on it and every time I'd be reading it at they're thinking this applies to marriage why doesn't somebody do the application, and finally we said lets dot that's so often what happens but in your own marriage what were those deficits you reference them and kind of made light of them but for the for us to...
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