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Assessment LL Play Pairing pages 17-19 October 2015 THE LANGUAGE ARTS MAGAZINE Name Date Is This the Most Hated Athlete of All Time Quiz Directions Read Is This the Most Hated Athlete of All Time Then answer the questions below. 1. Which is a central idea of the article A When people learned that Lance Armstrong had been using PEDs his career and his reputation were ruined* B Lance Armstrong is similar to Arachne. D Doping is a problem in many sports. 4. According to the article what reason...

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APPLAUSE Hello, and welcome to The Big Fat Quiz Of Everything. That's right — this is the quiz of everything, not just the year, bloody everything. Think of it like a pub quiz that started comfort eating. Let's meet the teams — the king of the chat show and the queen of the sketch show, it's Jonathan Ross and David Williams. APPLAUSE Next up, representing Canada and Ireland, two of my favorite countries in the Third World, Katherine Ryan and Aisling BEA. APPLAUSE Next — they're both incredibly weird, but great mates. It's like they both found imaginary friends who were actually real. It's Noel Fielding and Richard Arcade. APPLAUSE Katherine, Aisling, I've got to ask straight away — talk me through what you're wearing. This is a complete accident. We did not plan this at all. Not at all. We just had no time to get dressed this evening. We're busy. Furthermore, we're busy women. That's why we're never on the same panel show, except right now. Yeah. And we brought two extra bitches, just to even it out. That's a real dog? Yeah. That's a real dog? You're not working that with your thumb? SQUEAKY VOICE: No, I'm not. How many dogs did you have at the absolute high point of dog mania in the Ross household? Nine. Nine? Nine. Your house must have smelled like poo all the time. Well, it smelt like poo already. We got the dogs to disguise it, really. And it worked. Do you let them on the Millennium Falcon with you? APPLAUSE JIMMY LAUGHS They're not dogs, they're Cookies, mate. I can't believe, if anyone's going to be given a hard time about outfits, it's Jonathan. And why have you left the tie behind? Crazy Jimmy! What happened? Because I wanted to appear, sort of, more casual. Why is exposing your neck more casual? He's just really proud of his Adam's apple. Give us a swallow, Jimmy. It's weird, cos you were saying that, but it's the sort of thing that David normally says. Noel, briefly to your outfit, because people will be tuning in that are... bemused. What do you mean?! Look, I'll show you it in fulls. It's like... Hold this. That's the only way to show it. It's a swivel. Spin me, Richard, spin me. APPLAUSE AND CHEERS My mum used to wear a caftan on date night with my dad. Wow. And she'd wear no bra. Have you got a bra on tonight? No. No. No bra, sort of sexy, so that's what I think of when I see you in that. I think of my mum with no bra on. Can I ask a question, David? Yes. Why were you there on date night, knowing about your mother wearing no bra and a caftan? Because we were sent to bed early, and we'd know that my mum and dad were planning to... MOANS UNENTHUSIASTICALLY And there'd be nuts, and Piano would come out, and that would be their... It sounds to me like they were inviting other people round as well. It's a good job my mum will never watch this program. Well, my friend up the road, Steve, his mum and dad... He said they had swingers' parties. I said, “I'm sure they don't”. He said, “They do”. This was before we really knew what swingers'...

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