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I feel like this is the only place Never read this poem, and it seems like you#39’ve ever seen me here before you'regonna think she always reads that poem but whenever I get here Want to read this poem and I usually feel done#39’t feel safe reading this poem in most places I hope I know the words there was a reason let me just preface it with this Tara Hardy was amazing human being in this community umseveral years ago told me I needed to start writing the things I was terrified to write, and I didn't#39’t write anything for six months after she said that and then this was the first poem that I wrote after there is a reason my body creakslike a closing casket every time With the lights left on it is the same reason my friend sets fire to photographs of birds and follows the smoke with pleading eyes we both had years when the Phoenix didn't rise whence slept in beds of sintered feather sand health hollow ashen beaks the way other kids hold ice cream cones I sucked the bones of a songbird rotting wing, and you think your pills are going to fix me doctor you think I'm going to chase this down with water the shame as loud as his next girl#39’s nightmares I tied my tonguelike a ribbon in my baby sister#39’s hairlike a bow around a gift I gave to my mother and father and my silenceequalled every Christmas morning where we were still happy and grateful, but my silence was also his next girl#39’s eyes falling like timber when no one chose there her roots ripped up her ground eroding to the din of an old many#39;skipper 20 years later I wake and damp sheets my body trembling to the ghost other voice cracking like a frozen Lakeland I'm done#39’t even know her name never Sawyer face only her the rumor that he#39;moved on to the hemorrhage of another perfect thing and now here I sing through cinder through microphones raised like white flags in war zones through poems I have done from my throat like fishing hooks from here I look back at my voice lowered to half-mast we must have stood there with his dirty hand on his dirty heart laughing like a broken levee ashes next girl woke with body bags beneath her eyes and enough shame in her gut to give the hurricane her own name if I could see her face if I could face the eye of her storm how would I ever tell her that I speak for a living but Offer my own wounds as condolence but Say his claws carved me animal but I Sadat 14 years old I threw my bloody fist into my boyfriend#39’s face till his eyes swelled shut and his tears turned crimson in his jaw cracked til I was finally convinced his hands were not every man's hands would I tell her I've stood beneath streetlamps waiting forth swarming flies to identify my body as carcass to swallow every cell of salt and leave nothing behind, but the trellis of my untouched bones remember the fault lines in the corners of his eyes the way he shook hands with my father the look on his face beneath the swollen Sun even his shadow looked guilty the concrete made crime scene...
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