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If you've ever wondered why Disney tales all end in lies Here's what happened after all their dreams came true *Vocalizing* Be a, be a man After saving China I went home alone I was feeling conflicts in my lower zone I've been dressing like a guy for months Now I'm losing all control I think I am a guy in my soul (Be a, be a man) I want to be a man John #1: I've never seen a guy so hot John #3: Time to reinvent the new me John #4: Every time he speaks he makes me want to sing! John #2 and #4: I'm so confused John #1: Be quiet, or we'll get caught! John #2: Maybe one day he'll screw me. Now I really get why my nickname is Ping John #2 and #4: I've got to be a man John #3: I've got the brains and the bite of females Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes I know I'm ready for transformation It's time to replace all these useless tubes John #1, #2 and #4: Good for you John #1: The prince was absolutely the only single wish my heart made Guess my wish came true But we never really talked much Before he discovered my shoe The night after we got married I recounted all of my plights Of how I fit inside a pumpkin, my canines turned to coachmen Prince threw me in Bedlam that night *snapping* The white jackets say I'm nutty She's nutty as a bat Cause my clothes are sewn by rats Stick some meds in her food But their pills turn my brain to putty Got her! Now Lucifer's not just my cat I am Satan Their puts me under Shock therapy's made me insane *buzzing* And after years *BZZ* of steady frying *BZZ* The doctors *BZZ* gave up trying They stuck two steel rods in my brain *seizure noises* John #4: I spent a blooming lifetime to open my café Then I took a dive in 2005 Now it's washed away John #1, #2 and #3: It's all washed away I was picked up by a chopper after 4 nights on my roof, Nana Na Now my new home is the Astronomy Cause New Orleans ain't Katrina proof You'd better carry around a shotgun Or looters take your kids You'd better pee inside of jam jars (WWW!) Be sure to keep those lids We needed Noah, but we got Bush Our “savior” flew away and hid Rough seas and levees I'm deaoooooooooooood John #2: There is no snow on the mountain tonight, just sulfur in the air A kingdom of greenhouse gases, only Bill Nye seems to care My town is melting, breaking off into the sea It's time I showed the strength of an evil queen With Germany and Putin too I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo We're going green by spilling red And if you're not dead I built a hoard of evil snowmen They're going to take over the world Let it snow! Let it snow! Now Fox News will need heat lamps John #1, #3 and #4: Mother Russia! Let it snow! Let it snow! I hope you concentrate in camp John #3: Hal Elsa! We don't care who we have to slay Let my troops march on (The troops march on) The cold's coming back, and it's here to stay John #4: I sunk like a brick John #1: Prince thinks I'm sick John #2: Ice is melting quick John #3: Now I have a lot of self-esteem.
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